


The Principles of the Broken Mind

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: (I'm scaring myself omg), (wow this is the darkest shit i've ever written), Angst, Blood, Broken!Jared, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Insane!Jared, Jared is batshit crazy fyi, M/M, Manipulation, Manipulative!Jared, Misha/sebastian, Murder, Nipple Licking, Nipple Play, Oblivious Jensen, Past Rape/Non-con, Prostitute Jared, Prostitute Jared Padalecki, Prostitution, RPF, Rape Recovery, Smut, Supernatural - Freeform, Wincest...?, actor!Jensen, angst is everywhere, bottom!Jared, homo-curious!Jensen, hurt!Jared, infered underage, multi-personality disorder, stripper!jared, top!Jensen, trigger warning? not sure, y'all need to watch out
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-24
Updated: 2015-09-27
Packaged: 2018-04-23 05:37:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4865066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Name’s are such an attachable thing.<br/>Jared kicked his feet over the mattress, expertly ignoring the jabbing pain in his lower back as he slid his freshly-money-filled jeans over his hips and located his sweater across the room. He walked over to his garment and slipped it over his bitten and bruised shoulders and left the room without even looking at the man passed out on the bed. He walked to the bathroom and splashed water into his face, rubbing at a particularly annoying bruise underneath his jawline. That stupid bruise would make it harder to find a high-paying customer tomorrow night--he just hoped the possessive fetish that John Doe in the other room has doesn’t lose him good business.<br/>(Broken!Stripper!Jared x Jensen fic, so what is left without compassion, empathy and love? What happens to Jared when he's only ruled by harsh critical thought and the voices inside his head? Will Jensen be the one to alter Jared's ideals of himself and the world? Find out~)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Green Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> So this fic was semi-inspired by a song called 'The Hills' by 'The Weekend'~ (So like listen to it when you read the fic, if you want to~) and enjoy! ^~^

 

Jared opened his eyes to sunlight streaming through the curtains of the unfamiliar apartment and he sighed. By looking at the height of the orb of light on the curtain he estimated it to be late afternoon. He turned over on his side to find a sleeping man residing there, he didn’t know this man’s name nor did he want to find out. Name’s are such an attachable thing. Jared felt a cold and substance slide out of his hole, using the sheets to wipe himself of the white substance. After he kicked his feet over the mattress, expertly ignoring the jabbing pain in his lower back as he slid his freshly-money-filled jeans over his hips and located his sweater across the room. He walked over to his garment and slipped it over his bitten and bruised shoulders and left the room without even looking at the man. Jared walked to the bathroom and splashed water into his face, rubbing at a particularly annoying bruise underneath his jawline. That stupid bruise would make it harder to find a high-paying customer tomorrow night--he just hoped the possessive fetish that John Doe in the other room doesn’t lose him good business.

 

Jared worked a strict schedule, mostly because in this business the 'package' gets marked up pretty bad--and most buyers of this market prefer fresh meat--the other people don’t have enough money to pay for it and Jared played the innocent part amazingly as a fresh faced twenty three year old that could pass for nineteen if the job called for it. So, Jared took days between his work days to invest in his package, especially if he’s been marked up this bad.

 

Jared glanced at himself one more time before giving himself a dimpled-filled smile and frowned again. _At least that part of his package wasn’t damaged_ , he thought emotionlessly as he walked down the stairs to the ground floor of this house. He looked around, spotted a wallet unprotected on the table he grabbed it and grabbed an apple on the way out the door, just as he heard the older man wake up upstairs he let out a cynical laugh.

 

***

 

Jensen was very nervous, it was his first time at any type of place of _this_ sort he was at right now so when his friend and his friend’s fiancee lead him to the front row his heart was beating a thousand miles per minute. “I really don’t know about this, guys.” Jensen started as he sat down. “I really am only homo-curious, I don’t swing the whole ten yards.” Jensen internally sighed when he remembered when came out to his friends, admitting a certain male did catch his eye and his gay friends were thrilled to include him in their community--well since they were at the most fanciest gay strip club he’s ever seen--there were crystal chandeliers, black and slick tiles with an expensive mini bar and Jensen has never seen a fancier gay strip club in his life, as few as that might be--his pals were throwing him headfirst into homoerotic situations, keeping in mind the gay nightclub they went to only three nights ago.

 

“It’s okay, Jen. We totally get it and if you get uncomfortable, you can leave and we’ll be totally fine with it. We just saw this guy dance a few nights ago and thought he was your type…” Misha spoke over the loudness of the exotic dancer bar, then took a sip of his appletini.

 

“He really is a gorgeous thing, two beautiful blue eyes and a magnificent mind away from my darling here.” Sebastian’s thick, English accent sounded over the base beat rather pleasing to the ear as he patted Misha’s knee adoringly who waved him off.

 

“Stop being such a sap, liar. You’d totally tap that if I hadn’t tapped that.” Misha tapped over Seb’s heart as the Englishman let out a whiskey-cured laugh. Jensen rolled his eyes and took a swig of beer as the house lights of the ‘erotic dance club’--as Misha called it-- dimmed and the stage lighted focused in the middle of the black platform. Jensen’s eyes widened in awe as golden skin, messy brown hair and blown, multicolored eyes submersed him in… Joy?

 

***

 

Jared peered down on the stage to make sure he was hitting his mark, his hips swivelling in the perfect choreographed movements. _‘Left, right, left, right, pop, pop.’_ Jared went over each move in predetermined movements with accuracy. He was dressed in a white, disheveled dress shirt and white panties, contrasting nicely to his tanned skin. He made his way to the middle of the stage and started to unbutton said shirt slowly, thirty seconds in between each button.

 

This dance’s theme, he suspected, was ‘co-worker romance’ when he first saw the outfit. He walked smoothly to his assigned pole and slid down until his thighs were securely propped up on his calves. He then took this time to look at the crowd; Jared read online that most fantasies are created with ‘bedroom eyes’ and ‘eye contact’--and since his tuition, rent, hydro and food are relying on fantasies he concluded he has to do this--make eye contact. The crowd was larger than three nights ago, and Jared didn’t spot the guy he snuck away with, he sighed in relief.

 

He popped his hips out from underneath himself, slowly rising from the bent over position he was in he tried to make eye-contact with at least seventy five percent of the audience. He made his way from the back of the room to the front, ever so slowly making progress. He wrapped a leg securely around the pole and arched his back towards the audience members, his shirt slowly sliding off his toned stomach. He righted himself, remembering that the dress shirt is his exotic factor, because if he lost it he’d just be prancing around the stage in white panties--and that is usually the finale.

 

Listening, heard his cue in the music to actually start to dance on the pole and wrapped his hands securely around the top of the shaft and pulled himself off the ground.

 

***

 

Jensen couldn’t take his eyes of him, he was entranced by him--whoever he is. Miles of golden skin and muscles were working their way around the pole masterfully, and Jensen lost track of time--he couldn't tell if he'd been staring for minutes or hours but he really didn't care. Jensen and the man haven’t made eye contact yet, and he was dying to be on the receiving end of that gaze.

 

“His stage name is ‘Jasmine’, believe it or not.” Misha spoke up, not looking away from the stripper. “Apparently his real name is Jared. Jared Padalecki.” Jensen barely heard what Misha was talking about, but clearly heard the creature’s name. _Jared._

 

Jared pulled himself almost three quarters up the pole now, his long legs wrapped securely around it as he slid gracefully down the silver length. His toes touched gently down on the glistening black stage, rolling his hips off the pole as he went all the way to the front of the stage and kneeled down in front of it, sticking his sips out. Jensen had no idea what Jared was doing until men stood up and hooked two twenty dollar bills in his panties and Jared seductively thanked the men. Jensen had no idea what he was doing _himself_ when he reached into his wallet and stood up. He heard Seb and Misha laugh, but he paid no mind.

 

***

 

Jared was trying to finish the last of the seventy five percent--making intimate eye contact with whoever he could look at. He was just about to get up and move to the left side of the stage when a man slid six twenty dollar bills in the left jut of his hips. Jared looked up, content he found his customer for tonight when his breath caught, the color green engulfing his vision.

 

***

 

Jensen couldn’t breathe, he tried to burn the image of dimples, messy hazelnut hair and miles of tanned skin in his mind--and those eyes. Jensen tried his best to place the color but had too much difficulty. They had mostly gold in them, swirling together with green, blue, brown and mauve. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

 

***

 

Jared has never felt this before. It made his heart speed up and his skin flush of it’s own accord, and not for show. Jared was stuck, his eyes wandering over freckles, lips and pure green eyes. He could place the color of the eyes with ease, Parakeet green with gold rings around them. It was absolutely beautiful. Jared and this man were stuck in time together, and Jared will get this man tonight. He leaned in and whispered his invitation into the flushed ear.

 

***

 

The wind was cold tonight, Jensen rubbed his pink-tinted cheeks, hoping to warm them up a bit. Misha and Seb left five minutes ago as he stood at the back door of the rather fancy establishment, there was a red carpet and security guard situated there as Jensen kicked up some snow under his feet. Jensen wasn’t going to lie to himself, he was nervous to no end. He’s never done this--like never and this was crazy, stupid even. At Jensen stared at the ground, standing under the sole streetlamp snow swirled off the ground in a sudden gust, dancing in the frosty air until it settled back onto the ground.

 

The back door swung open and snapped Jensen’s eyes up to the source of noise, he spotted the stripper walk over to him in rather normal clothes, which surprised Jensen. Since he’s never really been with a female stripper he’s worked with actors acting as them in movies with skanky clothing--but this kid just had jeans on with a normal button up t-shirt Jensen could spot under the winter coat he was wearing. Phew, this wasn’t as bad as Jensen thought.

 

“Hey.”

 

***

 

Jared took fifteen minutes to perfect this image, he was going for college student or business colleague. From the short meeting he had with this stranger Jared collected that this man doesn’t do _this_ much, and that also the stranger has the ‘manly’ vibe going on Jared will be catching--which he has no problem with, but it’ll evade disrupting the mood in the future. “Hey.” Jared timed five seconds before giving a timid smile to the man, trying his best to bring up  his dimples enough to accentuate his cheekbones. The man obviously bought his ploy from the surprised look on his face, and the smile he gave afterwards.

 

“Hello.” The man rasped, looking at the snow at his feet then back up to Jared. “I don’t, uh. I don’t have a ride so, uh…” Jared confirmed to himself this man is the ‘ _sensual and passionate_ ’ type, as in he needs to focus on slow and intimate aspects of his performance and also this man _really_ didn’t do _this_ much.

 

“I have a ride, uh…” Jared concluded that if he wants a tip he’ll have to play the innocent character; with sensual motives, not like he had them. “It’s over there.” Jared thought of that time he wet his pants in third grade to summon a blush of embarrassment to his cheeks. Green eyes nodded and walked with Jared to his car. “So you don’t do this much, do you?” Jared mused, raising his voice an octave higher intentionally making him sound more naive. The man chuckled.

 

“No, I’m actually only homo-curious and my friends dragged me out here… I’ve never been with a…” He trailed off as Jared unlocked his Ford Escape, and Jared twitched his mouth down to make it seem he was hurt and looked at the ground.

 

“A stripper, you can say it.” Jared spoke with one part of hurt and five parts sadness as he sat in his car, Green Eyes--the nickname Jared gave him--moved quickly to the other side and climbed into the car.

 

“I didn’t mean... “ Green Eyes said, his voice dripping with guilt and Jared tried his best not to smirk, he’s got this guy wrapped around his finger.

 

“No, no of course you didn’t.” Jared smiled brightly at the guy beside him, then for once he acted without thinking of the consequences or evaluating his principles first. “What’s your name?”

 

“Jensen.” Jensen spoke, Jared almost giggled at the sound of such a name and made him smile. “I know it’s weird.”

 

“It’s cute.” Jared smiled tightly, a thousand things running through his mind a minute, the rest of the drive to his flat was in silence whilst Jared punished himself mentally.

 

Names are attachable, you can’t ask for them. You can’t become attached. You can’t become used. Names are attachable, you can’t ask for them. You can’t become attached. You can’t become used. Names are attachable, you can’t ask for them. You can’t become attached. You can’t become used.

 

You can’t become used.

 


	2. Fake Sense of Happiness

Jared pictured pain, white hot and deserved--he did this because if he didn’t Jared was sure he’d hurt himself. Jared didn’t hurt himself for a foreign concept of ‘self respect’, but he’d damage his body--his only merchandise he could sell; and to Jared that’s just like consuming a product before the consumer had a chance to devour it. A reason for him to down his price and Jared didn’t like the sound of that. So, he concluded to mental punishment and he pictured pain and the way he would have punished himself if his body was his. _By the time he’s payed and orgasmed_ , Jared thought with discipline, _I will leave immediately_.

 

They were seven minutes into the drive when he turned into his driveway, looking with his client with a grin, disregarding the pain and fire within the walls of his mind. “Looks like we’re here…” Jared’s grin turned into a small, innocent smile he’d spent five hours one Sunday afternoon perfecting.

 

“Yeah…” Jens--Green Eyes, Jared deliberately changed his name cautiously, turned his head towards him and Jared noted how blown and lustful Green's eyes looked. _Good_ , Jared thought, _he has an innocence kink_. Jared pulled at his coat sleeve, trying to forcefully fidget even though the action was lost to him--fidgeting is rather useless, he mused to himself and bit his lip as he looked up at Jensen and turned off his car engine.

 

“So, uh…” Jared counted to five and looked down, creasing his eyebrows like he practiced. “I’ve never really done this--I know you probably don’t believe me but…”

 

“N-No!” Green Eyes wrapped his freckled hands around Jared’s fidgeting hands and looked intensely into Jared’s eyes--Jared refrained to laughing out loud at how easy it was to manipulate this guy. “I believe you, Jared.”

 

“Good.” Jared whispered and flipped his wrists up, gripping and pulling Green Eyes towards his lips and ignoring the spark that ran through his bones when their lips collided. It was addictive--Green’s lips, they were soft and plush, and tasted like a woman’s but more succulent and less skanky, like the difference between brandy and a fine wine.

 

***

 

This kid surprised Jensen, he was so sweet and innocent. He wanted to help Jared--sweep him off his feet and pull him away from his tragic life he was most probably forced into. Jared’s lips were smaller than his own, but Jared’s face was a lot more softer and sweeter when Jensen cupped it in his hands and stroked over his cheekbones. Jensen noticed that Jared was unskilled at kissing, it was wet and sloppy but Jensen was so turned on he didn’t mind.

 

“Wait.” Jared put a hand up to Jensen’s chest and pushed him away softly and smiled reassuringly at Jensen’s face. “Let’s move inside, people will see us.” Jensen found this rather adorable at first, then questioned it when he thought of Jared profession--but didn’t think at it when Jared hopped out of the car and gave Jensen a look that almost made the twenty-seven year old cream his pants.

 

***

 

Jared felt an emotion he recognized as ridiculous, he wasn’t sure though. He literately danced half naked in front of a room full of guys. As soon as he unlocked his front door Green Eyes attacked his neck from behind and pushed through the door with force, and it took Jared a moment to decide which sound he should make and settled for a high pitched squeak. As Jensen turned him around and attacked his neck with non bruising kisses Jared let out a pornographic mewl and tugged the ends of Green’s hair. He thought with pleasure that Green Eyes probably won’t mark him and he could start work tomorrow with ease and buy himself organic groceries instead of normal ones--he read that organic celery, apple juice and pineapple juice make him taste better. Jared thought these thoughts--his face blank when Green wasn’t looking at him.

 

“Bedroom?” Green husked out against Jared’s throat and Jared moaned for real this time--something he never did. Jared took a conflicted minute to answer.

 

“Down the hall.” His forced high-pitched voice carried over Jensen’s groans as Jensen’s hands slid down Jared’s large frame and gripped his thighs, and picked him up. Jared let out another real, earnest squeak at this--Jared was at least four inches taller that the man that was carrying him over the bedroom. Damn he’s strong.

 

“Mmm.” Jared moaned out and secured his thighs around the man’s hips as Jensen opened the door, lazily, purposely and unskillfully nipping and licking at Green’s neck; who moaned none the less. Jensen slid his hands from Jared’s thighs and let him fall to the bed with a bounce, Jared only noticing now Jensen just pulled his coat down to access his neck and with precision he removed all of his clothes when his client was taking his own off and looked a little surprised when Jared was already buck naked in less than a minute. Jared waved him over to the bed--the one time in Jared’s entire life he felt anticipation crawling over his skin instead of a usual numbness. “C’mere.” Jared outstretched his arm and ushered him over, smiling when Jensen’s eyes glinted with pure, heart twisting lust and for the first time in Jared’s life--he would do this without money. That thought would scare him--but not now.

 

Tonight he will be used.

 

“You’re so beautiful, Jared.” Jensen held Jared’s arm with a delicate hand, kissing the singular fingers then flipped the palm over and kissed the soft skin below his thumb, his wrist and then locked eyes with him. Jared wanted him so bad, and the more he thought on this new concept of ‘want’ the further he wanted to run, to kick this green eyed man in his stupid and beautiful face--the man that changed him in the time span of an hour and Jared cursed his pure green eyes. He didn’t though, Jared just threw his head back in pleasure and let himself have this one thing. _Sometimes merchants use their merchandise_ , he reassured himself. He felt a dip in the bed, and kisses along his neck and chest--those soft lips were driving him mad.

 

“Jensen.” He whined, wrapping his legs around Jensen’s waist as he pulled him closer to his entrance with need and Jensen let out a breathy laugh.

 

“Shh,” Jensen hovered over Jared, using his left elbow to support himself as he ran a hand slowly up Jared’s torso, driving Jared even more insane as Jensen’s fingers bumped and slid along his sweat coated hipbone, abdomen and stopped teasingly right before the pink flesh of his nipple. Jared bit his lip and tried his best to retrain himself from flipping them both over and riding Jensen until _he_ was a moaning mess, but one part of him has never experienced this.

 

“Jens-” He was cut off as Jensen’s mouth wrapped warmly around his nipple, as Jared bucked up to find any friction anywhere. Jared let out the loudest moan he’s ever heard, his voice starting at a low key then cracked up multiple times to lead him to a soprano quality of lusty, innate scream. Jared wrapped his arms around Jensen’s head and pushed Jen's face closer to his chest until his voice went so high it cracked out. Jensen rolled the other nub between his fingers and Jared wailed with soundless ecstasy, bucking helplessly and retraining himself from coming as much as he could, wanting to hold some dignity and not cum only from nipple play--he wanted to feel _human_ tonight; only tonight. He felt Jensen bite a little harder on the pink little nub at the sound of his voice, and Jensen’s length growing as the beautiful man grinded down on his own swollen cock.

 

“Jensen for fucks sake get inside of me.” Jared snapped with venom--sexual frustrated venom but venom none the less. Jensen locked eyes with Jared, his green eyes were submersed with mischief as  he leaned forward and whispered “come for me, baby boy” as he gripped Jared’s cock and tugged it up and down once with a swift motion and just like that, without any thought or mental check Jared came.

 

And he came _hard_.

 

So hard actually, Jared saw white and felt himself sink into a new-found subconscious with only one word, as neutral as it was: “Leave.” Echoed in warning around his mind as he felt arms circle his waist protectively; a probable fake sense of happiness swarming his consciousness _beside_ that word ’leave’, an **_equal_** power within his mind.

  
 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here it it, I'm still new at writing smut so please let me know if there are any biological issues within my fic, thanks a bunch~


	3. The Virus

Jared was woken up to not the usual light in the window from a John Doe’s crappy curtains, but the smell of bacon. Jared slid his eyes open, peering around the rather dark room, then noticing the thick, expensive curtains he recognized as his own. He slowly sat up and didn’t recognize a specific sort jabbing pain in his lower back or hips, and he felt his stomach for the usual white substance; but his clean skin was residing there instead. He noticed the cool air kissing his neck and scalp and when he touched it, his hair was a bit damp and silky. It smelled nice, like he had a shower--but he didn't remember last night that well. Jared swung his legs over the side of the bed and reached for any shirt and his boxers, which were folded on his night-stand. He squinted at them, Jared didn't fold anything but securely roll them to save space within his drawers. Jared semi-forgot what happened last night, wondering when Jensen, he decided one word names took less time to address people--not because of anything else, of course, left.

 

Then it came back to him.

 

Jared was panic-stricken to the bone; _how in the hell could I do this to myself?_ Jared begun to breath hard, images of this man coming to mind. _His lips, his gruff face, his jawline, his voice, his eyes, his smell._ It was making Jared’s core crumble; his principles cracking just a bit with this man’s presence within the corners of his infected mind. _I can’t. I have to leave_. Jared pulled at his hair with a force that could rip his hair out--then he wailed into his pillow--not because of pain but because of a sense of hysteria. _What are you doing? Don’t harm the fucking merchandise;_ Jared thought, and compiled to that voice, untangling his shaky fingers from the damp hair.

 

“Get up, Jared.” He called himself in a strict tone, like he always did when he was a kid alone in his bedroom and there weren’t any grown-ups in a mile radius, like he was a virus or a fungal infection-- which he was --and he was forced to make multiple sections of himself, _a mother, father, big brother_ \--all of these sections were only created to protect himself, well before the concept and physical form of ‘ _himself_ ’ became the highest bidder’s property until the rooster squaked in the morning and brought the sun up with that _foul_ but _beautiful_ sound to his ears when he actually woke up in the middle of the city, the closest farm being on the opposite side of town in the county but Jared always heard it-- _the rooster_. “Get the fuck up.” Jared’s tone turned mocking, as the big brother. Jared got up, put his boxers on and the shirt wrapped around his markless form.

 

He could still smell bacon, though.

 

Jared walked cautiously down the stairs, then he heard something coming from the kitchen--a sort of _humming_. Jared froze and ignored the beauty of the sound, the force of ‘want’ powering through his veins with the potency of heroin. Jared held his hands to his ears and whined. He walked down the last steps of stairs and turned into his kitchen to find Jensen, humming and swaying his hips at he prodded at whatever was in the pan held out in front of his semi-dressed body. Jared stared mindlessly at the man before a small giggle burst from his lips. Jensen turned around and smiled.

 

“Hey, sweetheart. ‘Morning.” Jensen’s smooth and semi scratchy voice carried over to Jared as he just stood there, arms slack at his side and another giggle burst past his rosy lips. “Jared…? Are-are you okay?” Jared giggled for real this time, long and hunched over. “Jared…?” Something broke in Jared that day--like a shattered piece of pottery crumbling into dust as he blew into the wind; and as Jared's subjective morals lay dead at the oblivious, beautiful man's feet he giggled. _What a beautiful sight_ , thought Jared with a cracked grin, as he peered to the empty area at the feet of Jensen's delicious body he saw what he identified as _himself_ ; a dark and broken thing with all its imperfections laying **dead** in front of this man that dwelled in front of him, Jared thought with happy excitement; he retrained himself from taking the pan beside his  soulmate and smashing Jensen over the head with it; to see what _exactly_ dwells inside that beautiful head of his--Jared wanted to know.

 

Jared also wanted Jensen

 

_I want him. I want him. I want him. I want him. I want him. I want him. Mom, I want him.  I want him. Daddy I really want him. I want him. I want him. I want him. Brother, I want him so bad let me have him. I want him. I want him. I want him. I want him. I want him. I want him. I want him. I want him. I want him. I want him. I want him. I want him. I want him. I want him. I want him. I want him. I want him. I want him. I want him. I want him. I want him. I want him._

 

 _Green, freckles, dirty blond hair, luscious lips, six feet, his sweat, imperfections, I want it all._ Jared waited for a response, any response--none came, though and Jared took that as a yes, _no answer probably means a yes anyways_ , Jared thought as he mentally retrieved his mask and securely pulled it over his face, covering up the virus.

 

“Sorry, you just looked like someone I knew when you were cooking and I just thought about them is all.” Jared straightened his back and rubbed the back of his neck four times, then decided to scratch his cheek instead of fiddle with his shirt sleeve.

 

“Really, who?”

 

“Oh, my mom. She’d always cook me breakfast before school and when she did we would always dance in the kitchen together--and each Saturday we’d make tacos for breakfast.” Jared thought back to eighth grade, him dancing alone in the kitchen as his mom sung to him inside of his head-- _that was a good memory_. Jared walked up to Jensen and kissed his cheek, Jared saw this on a movie one of his clients took him to after fucking once and took note of the human gesture. “And good morning to you too.” Jared awkwardly mumbled out, he really needed to do research when Jensen left at how to do _this_ \--whatever _this_ was. Jensen looked down at Jared and grinned, slipping an arm around his waist and nudged Jared’s hair as Jared gasped, he’s never been treated like this before when sex wasn’t involved. “Sorry,” Jared saw the look Jensen was giving him and wrapped one arm around his neck, “I’m just not used to waking up with men.” Jared wasn’t lying, he always woke up before them.

 

“Right, this is a first for you, isn’t it?” Jensen spoke, one handedly flipping pancakes and drew Jared closer to his body. Jared _loved_ this so much.

 

“Yes, it is.” Jared spoke smally, interested in where this will end him up as Jensen smiled earnestly at the man--his smile fueled with passion, oblivious to what is happening inside Jared's head. “So bacon and pancakes?” Jared smiled back at him with a measured and exact grin--just to make his dimples pop out; it took Jared four days to perfect this smile.

 

“Yeah, you were sleeping and pooped out from last night so I’d thought I’d whip something up for you, is that okay?” Jensen slid a pancake onto the stack residing on a plate beside the stove, turned to Jared, who just put his hands up in defense and smiled.

 

“It’s okay, I’ll leave the chef to it. I’ll go put on some Netflix.” Jared giggled and just as Jensen smiled and turned away from him to get something from the fridge, a dark shadow cast over Jared’s face as he took off the mental mask for a moment; hoping for his virus to infect Jensen.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this is getting more support then I thought it would, I think I may settle with writing this series for a bit. I really like insane!Jared and I love writing him. So I hoped you enjoyed it as much as I did creating him~! ^~^


	4. The Clock Ticked

“C’mere.” The old, greasy man sat in his pickup truck as he waved a fat finger at Jared, who stood on his self-designated street corner in short shorts and a tied up Guns and Roses tank top, trying his best to ignore the cold.

 

“What can I do ya for, Mister?” Jared walked over to the truck, his long legs frozen and made it hard for him to walk properly, trying his best to sway his stiff hips as he walked over. Jared batted his eyelashes as the old fat man ran an infectious finger along Jared’s forearm, grinning a macabre and toothless grin as Jared pushed the bile back into his stomach where it came from. The smell accompanying the trucks presents that almost triggered his gag reflexes again from it's stench.

 

“How much?”

 

“Twenty for a blow and forty for a fuck.” Jared was pushing it, and usually he’d be ten for a blow and twenty for a fuck but this old glutton probably never got laid--Jared _was_ pushing it but reasoned out the outcomes of this situation and tested his luck anyways.

 

“That’s fucking expensive for a bitch.” The man gurgled a laugh, globs of spit and unidentified meat morsels sprayed everywhere. _He kind of looks like Jabba the Hutt_ , Jared reasoned comedically in his mind.

 

“Yeah, well it’s just around right if I’m fucking your ugly ass.” Jared mused and laughed a little loudly than necessary, the man narrowed his eyes at Jared who glared back at him with as much, if not than _more_ , venom.

 

“Yeah? You think you’re hot shit don’t you?”

 

“Damn right.” Jared stifled a groan of hunger. “If you don’t want it then leave, your blocking my work.” Jared rose a plucked eyebrow to the pigman within his disorderly truck as said man paused a moment, his slick neck fat gathering around his collarbones, if he had any.

 

“Get in, whore.” Jared smiled at the man’s purpose of degrading Jared, I already know I’m useless, Jared thought contently, I’m just a disease waiting to be exterminated. Just as Jared sat within the car, just about to close the grimy door very familiar sirens blared behind the parked truck as the old fat man cursed.

 

“Shit.” Jared tried to get out, escape the law, but an officer stopped him with a bulking body.

 

Fifteen minutes later, Jared sat within the cell and his thoughts were going crazy.

 

‘ _How the hell did we fuck this up? That was the most secure street corner in the red-light district, we even scouted it out beforehand_.’ His brother yelled as Jared creased his brow. ' _We're in deep shit, your fucking underage and everything is going to hell_.'

 

“Well we did fuck up, so what now?” Jared spoke aloud, his eyes closed as he tried to find any ideas before the cop came back to interrogate him or whatever useless thing cops did.

 

‘ _Wait it out_.’ A female voice came alive in his mind, as soothing as it was. ‘ _Guilt trip him for now, until we get out of here._ _You are only sixteen and legally orphaned so it would be easy to manipulate them_.’

 

‘ _We have to be cautious though, I saw the cop wearing a cross so he’s religious and a bible on his desk when he walked us in here. Pay mind to that too, son. Be the christian son forced into this, okay? Play the part well and we may be able to get another customer by the end of tonight_.’ An older masculine tone crossed over his conscience and Jared nodded as the cop entered the holding area.

 

“Follow me, and here are some things to cover up with.” The cop unlocked the cell as Jared stood up, a measured sad expression covering his features.

 

‘ _You’re frown looks forced, unpress your lips_.’ Jared complied and did so. “Okay.” He said solemnly, not looking the cop in the eye but noticing the cross hanging from his neck.

 

Down the hall from holding, Jared sat with a mug of coffee and a blanket wrapped around his shoulders.

 

The clock ticked. One minute passed. The clocked ticked. Two minutes passed. The clock ticked. Three minutes passed. The clock ticked. Four minutes passed. The _tick clocked_. A hour and a half passed. The door swung open.

 

“Are you alright?” Jared raised his head from his cold, untouched coffee, ignoring the screams of discomfort from his undernourished muscles and bones due to holding his head and muscles straight and unmoving for so long.

 

“Yes, I’m fine.” Jared smiled weakly at the officer, hoping to conjure guilt inside the christian man. “I’m just a little hungry, is all. I’m also a little uncomfortable sitting here for an hour and thirty five minutes.” Jared breathed out and took the first sip from his coffee.

 

“Oh, sorry about that we’re just really busy from New Years n’ all.” The cop started, his eyes darting from Jared’s uncovered thighs back to his lips as Jared stifled a giggle. “I’ll go get you somethin’, wait here.”

 

“Not like I’m going anywhere, Mr. Policeman.” Jared smiled and licked his lips, the policeman was radiating lust and this made Jared very happy.

 

‘ _This is going to be easier than I thought_.’ Spoke the father, in an amused tone. ' _I guess we've found our client_.'

 

‘ _Who would've thought a married christian man swung the opposite way_.’ Dean spoke, the older brother, with approval lining his tone.

 

‘ _You know what to do, Jared_.’ Mary spoke up, the mother, with a spine crawling amusement encasing her words.

 

The clock ticked and the door swung open. Five minutes passed. The clock ticked, security cameras were turned off and doors were locked. Two minutes passed and pants were dropped, crappy take out food it the floor with dry tears. An hour passed as Jared walked out the police station with a cracked smile. Doors were swung closed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so this chapter is a flashback from Jared's 'childhood' and a bit of where his mind is at with things. The voices inside Jared's head are indeed named after the characters on Supernatural and I did do this on purpose. I'll go into depth with how this happened and what caused Jared to create these characters in later chapters but I will give you a hint; protection from a very influential person in his life. So that's all I'll spoil on that note, I hope you guys enjoyed this little chapter. ^~^


	5. Crimson is Such a Beautiful Colour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this is really dark so watch out.

Crimson. Jared watched with intrigued eyes as small rivers ran across the floor with speed, right then left then they turned right again, slipping over the tile’s end and into the caulked groove. “Oh, wow.” Jared said aloud, smiling and poking at the colour then bringing his chubby finger up to his face to inspect the beautiful substance.  

 

‘ _Crimson is such an elegant and pure colour, isn’t it Jared_?’ Jared sat criss-cross applesauce on the tilled floor, running his small index colour through the puddle on the ground again.

 

“It is mommy.” Jared smiled and scooted over to a clean tile to run his coated pointer finger over the pure white canvas.

 

‘ _Are you drawing us, son_?’ John spoke up, interest blatant in his voice as Jared drew circles and lines over the white marble floor.

 

“Mhm!” Jared grinned, then dipped his finger back into his biological paint. “I see you guys in my dreams after sleepy-time.” Jared creased his eight year old eyebrows together, then finished his artwork. “What do you think?”

 

‘ _I give you some credit, but I should be at least as tall as dad_.’ Dean spoke up, and Jared grinned.

 

‘ _It’s close enough, for a twelve year old_.’ John chuckled and Jared smiled.

 

‘ _I think the colour contrasts with the tiles beautifully, honey. So you think I have blond hair, huh_?’ Mary spoke with a silky voice and Jared nodded.

 

“Saw it in my dreams, mommy.” Jared spoke just as the kitchen door swung open with a loud crash, multiple policemen surrounding Jared with guns and flashlights, Jared was wondering why since Karan, Jared’s biological mommy, went night-night for good this morning.

 

“Pull the kid away from them!” One rather bald officer yelled, as another young officer did his bidding and picked Jared up by the armpits, secured him to his chest and then carried him away from the crime-scene to an ambulance.

 

“Jesus Christ.” The black woman there gasped and looked at Jared then back at the officer.

 

“You shouldn’t use the lord’s name in vain, mommy says angels are watching.” Jared spoke as pity spread over the woman’s features and she took him into her arms.

 

“Okay honey, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, it’s okay.” The woman muttered as the officer left, leaving Jared alone inside the neat vehicle with the shaking woman that carefully wrapped him in a housecoat of sorts then held him close to her heart.

 

“Crimson is such a pretty colour.”

 

:::

 

Two days later, Jared sat inside a comfortable room and painted, trying to recreate his pretty picture that he finger painted on that tile; which was popped from the ground and currently residing within the police headquarters evidence chambers. A knock then a blond woman came in, looking at Jared then bit her lip.

 

“Jared..? Do you mind if we talk for a minute?” The woman spoke cautiously, like she was treading on dangerous waters.

 

“Yep, one second.” Jared swiped the paint brush one more time, completing the picture. The woman sat on the chair in front of Jared’s canvas and Jared took it off the small, dollar-store easel and looked at her.

 

“My name is agent Smith but you can call me Angie, if you want. Condolences ” Jared could tell that this woman had no children from her awkwardness with speaking and body language, which surprised Jared when he looked down and saw her wedding ring. Angie looked around twenty.“ I was wondering if you could tell me what happened."

 

‘ _Tell her what we talked about Jared, tell her the truth_.’

 

“Daddy--”

 

‘ _Take a pause, look sad_.’ Dean interrupted him.

 

“We don’t have to do this today.” Angie spoke up, her eyebrows crossed and she looked down at Jared with pity.

 

“No, I have to tell you this so I can forget about it, okay?” Jared spoke slowly and she nodded. “Daddy was going to touch me again. But I told him no he--” Jared hitched his breath and pinched his hand hard to conjure tears. “I found a sharp piece of metal before daddy and son time. He came home from work, he was about to and I couldn’t let him touch me anymore.” Jared thought if he should include this part, and his family agreed.

 

“Mommy would usually get really mad at me after daddy and son time, so after she would hit me and--” Jared counted to three. “Call me a virus--like daddy's activities was all my fault. Then she would leave me alone. But two days ago was different, she tried to stop him, saying that ‘a little b-word like that doesn’t need you I do’ and stuff like that. He got angry and they started to hit each other… Daddy pushed mommy too hard and she hit her head in the kitchen and knocked the knife block over. I tried to get away,” that was a big fat lie, Jared waited, “But he was too fast and he was even angrier than before and I still had the metal--” Jared looked down and pinched his hard super hard, not enough to draw blood but enough for him to draw a sob.

 

The next day, Jared stood, dressed in black over his parent’s burial hole, two men standing beside him waiting for the little man to leave so they could re-fill the hole. Jared looked down, reached into his little coat and pulled out a single, crimson rose and held it over the looming void before slowly letting it fall.

 

‘ _Now we’re finally free_.’ Spoke Mary, standing behind little Jared with a hand on his back.

 

‘ _Finally together_.’ Spoke John, his voice a whisper in the cold wind.

 

‘ _Forever together, little brother_.’ Dean crouched beside Jared and just as he turned to see him, Dean disappeared back into his head right before Jared saw pure green eyes disappear with the gust of cold autumn wind.

 

: : : :

 

“Where are you going, Emily?” Jared peered up at his caretaker for a moment and she just grinned.

 

“We ran outta grown up apple-juice. There’s some takeout in the fridge and just eat 'round the fuzzy parts.” She grinned and slammed the door.

 

‘ _Don’t eat that rubbish_.’ Jared heard a man’s voice in his head, he nodded and looked around.

 

“What should I eat, then?”

 

‘ _There’s a man next door who’ll give you something if you just go to sleep for a couple of minutes_.’ Mary spoke up. ‘ _He likes kids around your age to sleep on his bed sometimes_.’

 

“Why fourteen year olds?” Jared spoke, putting on his shoes and tying them securely.

 

‘H _e’s a sick bastard, Jared. That’s why_.' Dean’s deeper voice rang through his head. ‘ _Just go and I’ll take over, okay_?’ Jared nodded then walked down his steps, across the lawn and up the man’s steps. Jared knocked then the door swung open, revealing an attractive man.

 

“Hello, I was wondering if you had any food? I’m really hungry and my mommy said if I laid down you’d give me some…?” Jared asked, rubbing his stomach and looking up at the man, who looked panicked at first.

 

“I don’t know…” He rasped out, paying attention to Jared’s developing thighs and fluffy brown hair.

 

‘ _Okay, Jar. Switch out_.’

 

That’s all Jared remembers, the next waking minute Jared is munching on Smart Food, throwing the tasty popcorn into his mouth and looking at the groceries beside him, looking at the news.

 

‘ _Four year anniversary is today, isn’t it_?’ John spoke out, amusement filling his voice.

 

“It is.” Jared spoke out, reaching in the plastic bag for the milk container.

 

‘ _I still think crimson is a beautiful colour._ ’ Mary admitted cutesy-ly.

 

“Me too, but I miss that paint…” Jared spoke sully, taking a sip from the carton. “And Karan had such pretty insides, I was so surprised.” Jared also admitted, like he was discussing Karan’s food choices. “She was so cruel, though I was expecting her to have green insides.”

 

‘ _That bitch deserved it_.’ Dean spoke up.

 

Jared nodded, then took a huge mouthful of cherry pie. “Why did you get cherry pie? Lemon meringue is way better.”

 

‘ _I got us money today, so just ease off_.’ Dean spat. ‘ _I always have to do everything around here so just shut up for once_.’

 

That was the first time Jared’s body was used for money, and certainly not the last.

 

“Crimson is such a beautiful colour.” Jared said in a daze, his eyes glassy as he shoved another crimson covered spoonful into his mouth.

 

 


End file.
